Tag Archives: workign moms

Why Do I Do What I Do?

25 Jan

Most of you know by now that I started my masters degree about three weeks ago (if you follow me on Twitter you’ve been hearing about it a lot).

Understandably, people are generally shocked when I tell them this. Yes, I have three children under three – one with special needs, a husband who isn’t quite a year out from a kidney transplant, and a full-time job as a social worker.

I know. I’m insane.

But honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have always known that I wanted to go into Anthropology – well, since I was about 11 at least. I fought it for a long time because my parent’s told me I was insane (they were right), that there were no careers in that field (they were wrong), that women couldn’t make it in science (also wrong, but they were only speaking from experience at the time, in their defense). Once I got to the university level (after completing an AA and an AS at a community college) I also knew that I wanted to go to grad school and that I wanted needed to get at least a master’s degree, preferably a PhD. I have also, always, more than ANYTHING, wanted to be a mom.

You wouldn’t believe how many people honestly believe that a woman cannot have all of these things.


Watch me.

Granted, I did not intent to have THREE children – at least not right now. Alex and I agreed that our goal was ONE child and that we would discuss more after that, but one was the goal. probably to stop there, but maybe more after college or in grad school.

I probably don’t have to tell you that life doesn’t give a sh*t about the plans we make. I tried for one baby and – I am thrilled to say – I was blessed with three. But that doesn’t mean that I want to give up on my dreams. On what *I* feel that *I* need to do in my life. (Of course that doesn’t mean that there won’t be, and have not been, times when I have to put my own goals on the back burner to care for my family – I was not in school while Lennon was having surgery, for example.) Sure, it may take longer to get it done, and I am fine with that. But I don’t see how being a wife, a mother (even a mother of three) should prevent me from being ambitious.

Does that make me a bad mom?

Are my children going to be scarred for life because I spend my Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays away from them studying 9 months out of each year?

OR, are they going to feel empowered, that they too can go to college. Can go to graduate school. That they can follow their dreams no matter what else they may have going on in their lives?

Time well tell I suppose.

I won’t deny that it takes a certain kind of “crazy” to choose the path I’ve chosen. That and a very supportive family. My husband stays home with the kids while I work and go to school – hats off to daddy’s who potty learn and play tea party! And both sets of grandparents take turns watching the kids on Saturdays so I can study and write.

I am also one of those people who can’t handle not being busy. I am very, very driven. To a fault (just ask my poor husband who I am forever barking orders at and wondering why he can’t keep up?!). Before I had children to fill my time I would often be working two jobs (one full and one part-time) and going to school full-time.

So, why DO I do what I do?

Because I want to. Because I can.

What do YOU do?