Tag Archives: grad school

Why Do I Do What I Do?

25 Jan

Most of you know by now that I started my masters degree about three weeks ago (if you follow me on Twitter you’ve been hearing about it a lot).

Understandably, people are generally shocked when I tell them this. Yes, I have three children under three – one with special needs, a husband who isn’t quite a year out from a kidney transplant, and a full-time job as a social worker.

I know. I’m insane.

But honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have always known that I wanted to go into Anthropology – well, since I was about 11 at least. I fought it for a long time because my parent’s told me I was insane (they were right), that there were no careers in that field (they were wrong), that women couldn’t make it in science (also wrong, but they were only speaking from experience at the time, in their defense). Once I got to the university level (after completing an AA and an AS at a community college) I also knew that I wanted to go to grad school and that I wanted needed to get at least a master’s degree, preferably a PhD. I have also, always, more than ANYTHING, wanted to be a mom.

You wouldn’t believe how many people honestly believe that a woman cannot have all of these things.

Really?

Watch me.

Granted, I did not intent to have THREE children – at least not right now. Alex and I agreed that our goal was ONE child and that we would discuss more after that, but one was the goal. probably to stop there, but maybe more after college or in grad school.

I probably don’t have to tell you that life doesn’t give a sh*t about the plans we make. I tried for one baby and – I am thrilled to say – I was blessed with three. But that doesn’t mean that I want to give up on my dreams. On what *I* feel that *I* need to do in my life. (Of course that doesn’t mean that there won’t be, and have not been, times when I have to put my own goals on the back burner to care for my family – I was not in school while Lennon was having surgery, for example.) Sure, it may take longer to get it done, and I am fine with that. But I don’t see how being a wife, a mother (even a mother of three) should prevent me from being ambitious.

Does that make me a bad mom?

Are my children going to be scarred for life because I spend my Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays away from them studying 9 months out of each year?

OR, are they going to feel empowered, that they too can go to college. Can go to graduate school. That they can follow their dreams no matter what else they may have going on in their lives?

Time well tell I suppose.

I won’t deny that it takes a certain kind of “crazy” to choose the path I’ve chosen. That and a very supportive family. My husband stays home with the kids while I work and go to school – hats off to daddy’s who potty learn and play tea party! And both sets of grandparents take turns watching the kids on Saturdays so I can study and write.

I am also one of those people who can’t handle not being busy. I am very, very driven. To a fault (just ask my poor husband who I am forever barking orders at and wondering why he can’t keep up?!). Before I had children to fill my time I would often be working two jobs (one full and one part-time) and going to school full-time.

So, why DO I do what I do?

Because I want to. Because I can.

What do YOU do?

Viva Las Vegas

15 Feb

I know I’ve been slacking horribly in the blog department lately. Though I have been Tweeting.

We have just had a LOT going on lately. Like, a LOT.

I went back to work last week. I asked for a meeting with the bosses the Friday before I went back and I was seriously considering telling them to take their stupid job and shove it where the sun don’t shine. (In case you missed it, they DEMOTED me while I was on maternity leave and gave my job to the coworker who has been vying for it for the past two years. I now have a job that I HATE, and no hours.) They were very apologetic, however, and managed to placate me by implying that I would be re-promoted as soon as we were approved to open a new program in another city. That worked for a few days, then I realized that that’s not likely to ever happen and that it doesn’t change the fact that they still SCREWED me over after I gave that company my heart and soul for the past six years. Nice.

So. I had a job interview in Las Vegas on Friday morning. I think it went alright, but I’m not sure if the job is something that I want. It would mean moving away from our families (i.e. our built in babysitters). Though one of my best friends has promised to move with us and she would be on baby duty in exchange for rent for awhile until Hubby got his transplant and then she would get a job. I think moving to Vegas might be a great idea (much lower cost of living, affordable housing, MUCH better job market, etc), I’m just not sure if this is THE job. It is a contract position (NO benefits), so I’m not sure it pays enough considering I wouldn’t even get health insurance. It could work…it’s something I am seriously considering…

Which brings me to the transplant issue.

It seems like we might actually be getting really close to that happening. Hubby starts his IVIG on the 25th of this month. He will have three treatments and then supposedly get the transplant a month or so after that. So, we’re looking at April I guess?

So that would mean that if I DO move to Las Vegas for a job soon…it would be without him. At least for now.

And yes. I’ve tried to talk to him. He just shuts down, refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and then acts as though I never said anything. ::sigh::

Let’s see…what else?

Um, Hubby and I caught the stomach flu that the girls had and it totally knocked us on our asses. We had to send the girls to the grandparents house for the day because we were physically unable to care for them.

I got a phone call letting me know that I totally screwed up my grad school application. I contacted the department chair and she said that I could reapply, but now I look like a moron.

I think that about covers it for now.