Us

5 Jan

I’ve been a very bad, erratic blogger lately.

Ok, fine, for a long while now.

First I had preemie twins, then I was pregnant again and exhausted, then I had a newborn…

But enough with the excuses. I need to get back on the ball.

Really, I need to fix up this site. A lot of my blogroll has stopped blogging or has moved – but its going to be such a project to go through all those links I’ve been putting it off forever. No more excuses.

People also suggest from time to time that I change my blog name.

::sigh::

While I see their point – I’ve been “Empty Uterus” for a long time time. I was briefly “Crowded Uterus” when I found out I was having triplets…but I’m sort of superstitious about changing it now! And really, my uterus IS empty. It probably will be empty from now on. AND, the fact that I have previously suffered from Empty Uterus Syndrome explains a whole lot about who I am, why I’m blogging and how I think and act the way I do about many things.

So, what do you think bloggyworld? Should I change my blog title? If so, do you have any suggestions?

Since I have been such a bad blogger I want to get back into the “swing of things” with some updates.

The Kidney:

Effing hell. It never ends. Still waiting. Still haven’t started the IVIG. Beyond frustrated. It’s all just red tape – one thing after another. ::sigh:: Hopefully soon.

The Girls:

Are 15 months old!!!!! They are SUCH toddlers now, it seemed like they were babies for SO long and then one day their development just started to snowball and they grew up overnight!

Evelynn is a feisty little monster. She is VERY strong. When she is in her walker if she comes upon something she can’t push the walker over (like the edge of the carpet, etc) she simply picks it up around her like a hoola hoop and walks with it. But she also uses her powers for evil: trying to change her diaper, bathe her, put her into a car seat, keep her in a high chair or pretty much anything else is like trying to dunk a cat in water. She. Is. Exhausting. AND she has an opinion about everything (and it’s almost always “no”). But man oh man is she charming. She has about 8 teeth now and her goony grin just gets me every time. She is walking (though only around her play area, not around the house or anything yet).

Lennon is my little snuggly sweetie pie. She JUST started working her her first tooth yesterday (freaking FINALLY, Hubby and I were starting to panic)….right now it’s nothing more than a sharp spot on her lower gum. Evy beats the crap out of her most of the time, lol, but she’s starting to learn to defend herself – which is good. I’m still a teeny bit worried about her development since she’s not really trying to walk at all. She’s taken a few steps here and there. We also just noticed that she has a lazy eye. I don’t know how we missed it, I guess with everything else going on with her…and it’s not that obvious…in fact, we only figured it out when other people started commenting on it in pictures of her. I need to make an appointment to see what needs to be done about that.

Nolan:

Is an AWESOME baby. Awe-some. He is in a fantastic mood 90% of the time (he smiles and coos and jabbers at me and I want to snuggle the CRAP out of him). Breastfeeding is the best thing EVER and I am terrified of my milk drying up. I know it will eventually – but I am loving this SO much. Oh, and he occasionally sleeps through the night. He also sometimes stays up all night grumping and demanding the boob every 20 minutes. But, such is life.

Life In General:

::sigh::

Honestly? I am a very unhappy person right now.

Well, I can’t say that exactly. I love, love, LOVE my kids. This is exactly what I wanted and I am elated. They are worth EVERYTHING I am about to complain about and more.

But, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t striving for perfection and my life right now is far, far, FAAAAR from where I need it to be.

We are still stuck at my parents house. Still grateful for them saving our butts like this – but this is NOT how I want to raise my children. My mom and I have very different parenting styles and being stuck here I am forced to follow hers more than my own. Bitter, BITTER pills to swallow.

I feel like a loser living here to say the least.

And I am very, very frustrated with my job.

But, I’m working on things and my goal is to be out of here by the end of this year. I’m looking for a career since it’s now obvious that my current place of employment is not going to lead in that direction. Let’s just say I’m working on that, but the job I really want is a government job and that’s going to take a long time. In the mean time I’ll try to be grateful that I have a job at all.

I’ve also applied to grad school. Again. Well, working on applying, lol. I need to get my packet finished and mailed off.

Yeah, I think that’s enough blithering for one post. But now that we’re up to speed I can post more regularly without feeling like I’m leaving something out.

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8 Responses to “Us”

  1. Ashley, the Accidental Olympian January 5, 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    Don’t change your name. I agree that it marks exactly why you started your blog in the first place. Without your name you’re forgetting the reason you turned to the online community in the first place.

    PLUS, it’s catchy as all get out. 🙂

  2. Michell January 5, 2010 at 10:25 pm #

    As far as the blog name, I think whatever works or feels the most comfortable for you. It’s your blog. Plus based on some of your posts, I’m guess that for now anyways the uterus stays empty for a bit.
    I don’t blame you for wanting to get out of your moms house. It’s hard to move back home as an adult, I’m sure even more so when you are a parent also and with the different parenting styles. I hope the job/career thing works out well for you which ever direction it takes.
    I hope too that the kidney transplant stuff gets going soon. I’m sure it will be a huge relief when things are better in that area. Hugs to you and hang in there.

  3. Michelle January 6, 2010 at 6:42 am #

    Where to start this comment. lol

    The blogname is completely up to you. If YOU feel like it should change, change it to something that still has to do with your journey to motherhood. That’s what I did with mine. I feel like my infertility is a big part of who I am too, so I wanted it to stay the main point behind my blog.

    The kids sound like they are doing great. You have done a wonderful job as a mother, even if things aren’t always going the way you wish they were. You are always doing the best you can with the resources you have, and that is all anyone can expect from you, including yourself.

    Things will change for your family and get better as time goes on. Hubs will get his kidney transplant eventually, and you will move into a house of your own while sporting a new career title. It might not happen as soon as you’d like, but it WILL happen.

    As for being a bad blogger, I never dubbed you that because you have twins, a newborn, and you’re a working mother. No one can expect loads of blog updates from you when your plate is already so full. You update when you can, and I’m still here every time you do. 🙂

    *loads of hugs!*

  4. seussgirl January 6, 2010 at 10:45 am #

    hmm…I’d say let your blog be named whatever you feel describes you best. But if you are looking to change it, maybe something that reflects the journey – like “From Empty Uterus to Crowded House” or something along those lines?

    As for walking, my preemies didn’t walk till 15 and 17 months respectively. And that was even with regular early intervention therapy.

    I’m glad Nolan is such a happy baby for you and that b/feeding is going so well! That pretty much describes life with #3 here, too. 🙂

    Good luck with the surgery and job stuff!

  5. scorrysgirl January 6, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

    I too live with my parents, but I am not married as of yet (engaged!) and they have learned to respect my parenting style because I, well…. kind of forced the issue. They’re your kids, not theirs. They had their turn. But also remember that they raised you, and you turned out okay. It’s all about compromise in some areas. Good luck!

  6. S January 6, 2010 at 6:01 pm #

    Hmm… I say..

    Don’t change the name.

    I’m a terrible blogger too..I comment but not much blogging going on on my own blog. (At least you can blame it on the twins a new baby….I have a 5yo and 14mo…..)

    I’m sure that living with your parents isn’t ideal.

    I’m thrilled that you love b/feeding that sweet boy!

    I hope the kidney thing happens soon for you guys…I’m sure it’s very stressful.

  7. Aunt Becky January 7, 2010 at 5:42 am #

    I’m really sorry you’re feeling so low. I’ve had a terrible time after each of my kids were born. If you need to talk to someone, my email is becky@dwink.net. Please, email. We can love on each other.

    And as for blog names, change it if you want. Don’t change the URL, tho, because people won’t change over. Maybe Empty Uterus, Full House?

    xoxo

  8. Monkey's Mama January 10, 2010 at 5:16 pm #

    Hey there, don’t want to scare you or anything, just want you to consider your breast symptoms a minute. IBC is often misdiagnosed as a clogged duct. We need to always keep these symptoms in mind:

    IBC symptoms may include one or some of the below:

    • A breast that appears discolored; (red, purple, pink or bruised)
    • A tender, firm and enlarged breast (sometimes overnight)
    • A warm feeling in the breast (or may feel hot/warm to the touch
    • Persistent Itching of the breast (not relieved with cream or salve)
    • Shooting or stabbing pain
    • Ridged or dimpled skin texture, similar to an orange peel
    • Thickened areas of breast tissue
    • Enlarged lymph nodes under the arm, above/below the collarbone
    • Flattening or retraction of the nipple
    • Swollen or crusted skin on the nipple
    • Change in color of the skin around the nipple (areola)

    If one or more of these symptoms continue for more than a week, talk to a physician immediately, and find an expert with experience in treating this particular type of breast cancer. Many women have to demand that their physicians “rule out” IBC, and (therefore) become their own best advocate, as more education is needed in the medical community regarding this form of breast cancer.

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