#$%&!

21 Oct

I know how horrible this is going to sound, but I am so FREAKING miserable I don’t know what to do anymore. I am on the verge of losing it.

I am in so much pain in my hips and ribs that I can’t sleep at night and I can hardly move during the day. I am not sure what’s going on because my elbow is also killing me and I have a lump (cyst?) under the skin there. My ribs on that same side hurt SO badly in two places that if I roll over onto that side in my sleep I wake up screaming in pain. This has just happened in the past two days or so. It hurts so badly that I don’t even want to eat…all I want to do is curl up in a ball on a heating pad. I’m guessing its the baby up in my ribs, but I don’t know because of the elbow thing.

Plus, every time I move (bend, squat, walk more than a few steps, get up, sit down, lean, etc) I have a contraction. They last about one minute and hurt like hell.

All this boils down to the fact that I am having a REALLY hard time taking care of the girls by myself. I keep them in a huge play yard during the day when they are up with all of their toys. I know they get bored, but I have a really hard time carrying them even down the hall to bed. I”m so scared of having a bad contraction while I am holding one of them and the whole hallway is tile.

Evy is a very strong, very energetic child. She busts out of the play yard, fights diaper changes, wiggles in your arms, escapes from the high chair…parenting her is VERY physical and the whole time I am doing it I am having contractions.

This is why I stayed at work for so long, its actually easier on me and safer for the girls for my mom to be taking care of them at this point.

BUT, my mom just found out that her step-father has a spot on his liver and so she is going up to stay with him for the rest of the week – starting tomorrow. F*CK!

Now I don’t even have back up.

I don’t hav any friends or family around here who don’t work to help me and Alex HAS to work because he is the only one making any money right now.

On Friday I have a doctors appointment. I will be 37.5 weeks. I really don’t think I should miss it – particularly because I have been so miserable – but I can’t go. Alex has work (he doesn’t get paid time off) and the hospital I go to does not allow anyone who doesn’t have an appointment or visitors under 18 due to h1n1. Besides, I couldn’t get them into and out of the car, wrestle them in the dr’s office, get the double stroller in and out, etc. I would be on the floor dying.

The OBGYN clinic is very busy so I doubt they will be able to get me in again until MAYBE the end of next week (38.5 weeks).

Did I mention that I’m also only measuring 35 weeks right now and that my doctor has been a bit concerned about IUGR? She says she doesn’t suspect anything YET, but she’s keeping an eye on it.

Or would be.

If I could go in.

Damn it. I don’t even know why I’m blogging this.

To vent I guess.

Nothing I can do about it.

But I HATE this! I hate it. I want to cry, but what good would that do?

Do I have Hubby stay home with the girls and give up money that we desperately need to FEED them with (ok, that’s a bit dramatic. Bills would not get paid, but the girls will always be fed.)? Or take them with me? Or just skip the appointment and keep up on my kick counts?

What would you do?

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10 Responses to “#$%&!”

  1. Deanna October 21, 2009 at 7:58 pm #

    First of all, from what I gather you have a pretty good relationship with your OB’s office and the nurses there… with that being said, call them up and explain what’s happening – be as descriptive as you can and explain that with the twins you wouldn’t be able to make it to the hospital for your 37wk appt. They can give you feedback or even write a script for meds (or something) that could relieve the pain.

    I assure you I know how you feel!!! Read my blog, when I was preggo with Amelia, I had HORRIBLE pain (like enough for them to give me morphine to decrease the pain) that didn’t seem to have a cause and I had to endure it for 8 wks!!! The things we do for our children eh?!

    I really hope your pain goes away and that you and Nolan are alright. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with twins AND have pregnancy complications.

    And now that you’re considered full term, you could always try castor oil to try to jump start labor???

    BTW, I hope you write more frequently, even if it’s a “ya, nothing’s happening… or… I’m still misserable” as when I don’t hear anything I think you’ve gone into labor!

  2. April October 22, 2009 at 4:07 am #

    I would call your OB and explain the situation. Since I know your probably pretty friendly with them I’m betting they will be able to work with you. Maybe be able to bring the girls and have a lady from the office help you get the girls inside in the double stroller. I was always amazed at how helpful people were when I just asked for help with I was pregnant with my youngest.
    Take a warm bath after you get the girls down. I always found that helped me with back pain and contractions (that didn’t go anywhere!).

  3. seussgirl October 22, 2009 at 4:54 am #

    I’m so sorry you’re in such a bind! I wish I lived close enough to help you. 😦

    I think at this point, if it were me, I’d have to ask hubs to stay home so I could make sure everything was okay for my own peace of mind.

    I hope you find a solution!

  4. Leah October 22, 2009 at 5:19 am #

    Maybe the OB could make a housecall? : ) You should make that appt if at all possible…heck, maybe she’l induce? Or at least give you something for pain??

  5. Michelle October 22, 2009 at 5:35 am #

    Would Hubby taking a couple hours off work make a big difference in the money situation? You really should go to the dr appt. Have you called the dr to ask what they think about all of the pain? Its worth a shot.

    Good luck with everything honey.

    *hugs*

  6. Michell October 22, 2009 at 6:36 am #

    I agree that going to the doctor is probably pretty important. If hubby taking a couple of hours off work is at all feasible then I’d go that route. What happens though if you go into labor while your mom is gone? I hope you find something that is workable for you. Thinking of you.

  7. Io October 22, 2009 at 7:45 am #

    You have to go to the doctor.
    Is there absolutely nobody who could babysit for a couple hours? I totally looked up flights out there, but it’s a little out of my price range…

  8. Ellie Goggins October 22, 2009 at 8:58 am #

    If I were anywhere near you, I would help you with the girls. But alas, I am in Texas! I can tell you though that I think it is extremely important to go to your dr’s appt, based on the severity of the contractions, suspected iugr, etc. Plus, maybe you can talk her into inducing you, and then you would feel better!

  9. noswimmers October 22, 2009 at 12:12 pm #

    I SOOOO wish I lived nearby, Blake and I would love to watch the girls. Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re in such a tough spot right now.

    If hubby can take just a couple of hours off that’s what I would do. If not, do you have a trustworthy neighbor that would be willing to babysit? Or maybe if you explained the situation to the docs office they would bend the rules a bit (and slather the girls in sanitizer??)?

    I’m sorry hun, hang in there…you are an amazing woman!

  10. Sarah October 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm #

    Hire a babysitter! There’s got to be a friend of a friend or friend of a neighbor. Do you live near a university? Check out their online newspaper for childcare ads.

    It’s really important that you make it to your appointment and your kids are old enough for you to leave them with a babysitter.

    Contact your town’s community center. Call them up and ask about drop-in care. There are places that take babies for a couple hours. If you are religious and are a member of a church, call them up and explain your situation. Oftentimes churches offer quickie daycare drop-in times. That’s all you really need, it’s not anything major like a full-time placement.

    Check out local Mom’s groups and see if someone is willing to take your kids for a couple hours. Also there is craigslist (my friend started her Mom’s group on craigslist and it’s a fun group). Craigslist can be sketchy though.

    Good luck!

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