Quite the Pickle

18 May

I have to keep reminding myself that I was only trying for ONE baby and that this isn’t my fault.

Cause it’s embarrassing ya know.

Being an almost 30, almost college graduate, married, with THREE kids in less than two years, living at home and unable to afford day care.

I just can’t figure out how the heck we are going to do it. I guess I’m just planning way too far ahead.

I am going to have this baby and then I am going to take my degree and I am going to go and find a better job.

And then we’ll have enough money so that Hubby can either say at home with the girls or I can hire a nanny.

Then I’ll force Hubby to go to night school. =D

And one day, maybe we’ll actually get on our feet again.

Can it really be that this time last year we were doing great and out on our own? That we had enough disposable income that we decided it was time to start a family? (Read: ONE baby….ridiculously happy that I got three…but not what I had prepared for.)

Ha! If we only knew what was in store!

What a wild ride. That sure knocked us off our high horse.

We have plenty of money right now too…but not nearly enough to move out AND pay for childcare. (The grandma thing is NOT working….can ya tell?)

My mom is already burning out and she’s only had the girls for four months. There is no way she can handle three and she’s pretty much told us as much. Plus, she is becoming unreliable. Not that I have room to complain, it’s been FREE! But even free doesn’t hack it when she wants a week or two off per month.

I think I just need to calm down. The degree is coming. The better job is coming. The husband that is fully functional, not on dialysis and can work and going to school is coming. This baby is coming.

Then I can pull it all together and make it work again. I just have to stick it out until I’m off maternity leave.

We won’t even discuss right now how long that is going to take (9 months from now…..Eeeeeeee)!

Right now, I just need to breathe.

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8 Responses to “Quite the Pickle”

  1. Michell May 19, 2009 at 5:03 am #

    Hang in there. I have no words of wisdom but I hope things start looking better soon.

  2. Michelle May 19, 2009 at 5:38 am #

    Honey you have seriously been on one hell of a ride in the past 15 months. I think you are doing great, all things considered. You have been handed a lot to handle, and I am sure you have days where it seems like you are going it alone. I think about you all of the time and am amazed you are holding it all together.

    When I’m in rough patches I always think to myself its just like going to the dentist and having your mouth numbed, it sucks, but its only for a little while. It will wear off.

    Your sunny day is just around the corner. You’re just about due for some seriously good things to happen for your family. Just continue to hang on and keep it together. You’re doing great!

  3. annacyclopedia May 19, 2009 at 8:40 am #

    It will work out – probably not without a lot of struggle and frustration on your part, but it will. You are doing great in the midst of everything and 10 years from now you will look back on this time with amazement and pride at how strong you are as a family. Hang in there.

  4. Becky May 19, 2009 at 11:40 am #

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that things will work themselves out. Hang in there. It’s a scary thought, I know.

  5. coffeegrl May 20, 2009 at 2:05 am #

    I think you’re doing freakin’ awesome. It can’t possibly be easy to keep so many balls in the air at the same time, especially when the health of your loved ones is at issue. But somehow you’re doing it – day to day – you’re doing it.

  6. twondra May 20, 2009 at 3:30 am #

    I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I really don’t know what to say. I’d definitely be stressing out, too, sweetie. I hope things get better. (((HUGS)))

  7. Idoia May 21, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    Oh, BTW, you have an award over on my blog 🙂

  8. Ashley May 22, 2009 at 8:17 pm #

    Hey! I am not certain whether I have de-lurked before or not, so here I am!

    I have been following your blog for a little while now. Just wanted to say hello and tell ya to keep your chin up!

    Everything will work its self out one way or another. Wishing you all the very best.

    -Ashley

    *Stop by my blog and say hello! 🙂

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