Thanks, but no thanks.

20 Feb

Bear with me, I need to vent.

First, let me preface this by saying that my parents have been SAINTS for letting us stay with them through this whole crazy mess, and for that I am very, VERY grateful.

But – I’m just about to lose my ever-loving-MIND!

My mom has an opinion about EVERYTHING and 99% of the time it is unsolicited. Which would be fine…if she wasn’t directly opposing everything I say, every single FREAKING time.

I’ve been trying really hard to not let this get to me, for the reasons I have mentioned above, but I just can’t handle it anymore and I need to gripe.

Not only does she NEVER side with me, but she is making it pretty clear that she also thinks that I am incapable of making safe decisions for my girls.

For example: she has been having fits about feeding Evy the cereal – she wants to wait until she is 6 months. Um, SORRY! The doctor said that it’s time and so this is what we are doing!

She has opinions about medications (she wants them on this, off that, and so on), clothing (she doesn’t like some of their outfits and bitches if I put them in them- or she’ll just change them first chance she gets), she didn’t like me cobeddingthem (the girls moved back to their crib on their own anyway), she doesn’t like me using baby powder (so she won’t do it) and the list goes on and on and on.

She is also obsessed with whatever the doctors say. She hounds us about appointments and grills us on what was said. And if we happen to mention that the doctor suggested something or other, she will hold us to it like it is a direct decree from God. Heaven help us if one doctor says something and then changes his or her mind!

Every time I ask her to do something with them, or mention something, or even have a private conversation with my HUSBAND about them, she offers her opinion and whatever I am doing is ALWAYS wrong. And I. just. want. to. SCREAM!!!

And the funny thing is, if someone had treated her like this when she was raising me she would have torn them a new ass hole on the spot!

I wish that I could calmly discuss this with her, let her know how she is making me feel and we could come to a solution. But my mom just does not work that way. She sees all of this as a huge favor to me (which, to be fair, it is) and if I were ever to dare and contradict her she would FREAK. So I have to sit and take it until Hubby gets his transplant and we can move. Arrrrrgh!

I know that she is just doing this because she loves the girls and wants what’s best for them. But seriously? I’m not an idiot! I promise. And I am not going to do anything without researching it FIRST and coming to an educated opinion! Beyond that, it’s up to ME and Hubby and no one else! Really, I am not going to do ANYTHING that I don’t think is in the girls best interest!

Help! Any advice for coping?

PS For those two of you who know me (and my mom) IRL, PLEASE don’t say anything to her (and for the love of all that is HOLY don’t ever mention this blog to her). I don’t want to hurt her feelings…

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4 Responses to “Thanks, but no thanks.”

  1. Orodemniades February 20, 2009 at 4:45 pm #

    Get out as much as possible…and remember that even though she’s driving you bat-shit crazy – she’s probably even more paranoid than you are and she hasn’t realized how much has changed since you were little.

    I know, i was there this time last year, and no one died. But it was a close thing…

  2. Annarchy February 20, 2009 at 6:37 pm #

    Commenter above has got it right. She has no clue what has changed since you were little. Trust I would never say anything about this blog to her. Good for you for being able to see her side of things. Shows how grown up you are. Sadly I can not say the same for her. To her there is only her side. But you are a capable mother. I wish I could fix this for you. Just hold on till the transplant!

  3. twondra February 21, 2009 at 4:14 am #

    Oh, sweetie, I’m sooo sorry. I’m like you. It would drive me crazy but I’d be so afraid of hurting her feelings that I couldn’t say anything. I know talking to her seems like the logical choice, but it’s hard to start conflict when you’re living with her. It would be pretty uncomfortable.

    I’m so sorry sweetie. I wish I was more help. Thinking of you. (((HUGS)))

  4. Michell February 21, 2009 at 8:53 pm #

    No advice but hang in there.

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