In which La La expresses extreme graditude to the powers that be…

13 Jan

If you are still struggling with IF you may not want to read this one. Or maybe you do. I have to express how incredibly grateful I am though; how lucky I know I have been, and how much I *love* my life right now. However,reading a blog like this a year ago might have very well sent me over the edge, so I will completely understand if you choose not to read on.

That said: I have been SOOOO damn lucky! After four (plus)  years of infertility, clomid, donor IUI, one “almost” adoption and a WHOLE LOT OF TEARS…I have two BEAUTIFUL, perfect, amazing, miraculous little girls!!


I never, EVER in a million years thought that I would have biological  children. I never thought we would be able to afford IVF, that it would work and that I would get TWINS!!

Sure, it was rough every step of the way (OHSS, bleeding, miscarrying a triplet, contractions throughout, premature birth and then two preemies with a handful of issues – all of them fairly minor – thank God). But heck, I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I am so grateful. I am so in love. I can’t believe how LUCKY I have been.

Right now I am just trying my best to enjoy every minute, appreciate every smile and coo and live this mommy thing up to the fullest. Who knows if I will ever get here again (that’ll be another post).

Everyone seems to ask me how I do it with twins, ask if I am losing my mind…some even go so far as to say that they “feel sorry for me”. DON’T! I don’t mind the 3am feedings. I don’t mind being busy. I don’t mind the crying. I have BABIES! I have  TWO of them! I won the freaking IF lottery!!Not that it’s never hard, not that I’m not tired…but please don’t piss me off by saying that you feel SORRY for me. I would never, ever take this for granted.

Every single day I look at my girls and THANK them for coming to me. Every single day since they were born Hubby and I look at each other and say that we can’t believe that they are really here and that they are OURS!

I know that reading a post about how lucky I am might be hard on some, but I also felt that  I had to let the “world” know that I *KNOW* how lucky I really am and that I am not taking one bit of it for granted.

*** The girls graduated from newborn to size 1-2 diapers and into their 3 month clothing this week. ::sniff:: ***

And they slept for 7 hours last night! Woo hoo!!

 I can’t believe they are almost FOUR months old…


9 Responses to “In which La La expresses extreme graditude to the powers that be…”

  1. Annarchy January 13, 2009 at 1:15 pm #

    I can not wait to see them!!!!! Tell them I am coming!

  2. sara January 13, 2009 at 1:29 pm #

    This is such a great post to read. I remember when you were just getting pregnant. I’m so happy for you! ((hugs))

  3. noswimmers January 13, 2009 at 1:34 pm #

    Oh sweetheart…you are so thoughtful.

    I am so glad that the girls are doing well. btw…we need more pics!!

  4. BlueBella January 13, 2009 at 2:33 pm #

    Wahoooooo! These are the posts that make reading along through all the heartache worthwhile.

    You are truly blessed. Now post up some pictures of your ginormous girls!!!!!

  5. Away2me January 13, 2009 at 3:55 pm #

    I can’t believe they are almost 4 months. Wow!

    Like you I am so thankful for what I have. I think IF makes us much more aware than we might have been, about how truly amazing it can be to achieve our goals.

  6. Michelle January 13, 2009 at 6:53 pm #

    La La, I am so happy for you too. I am so glad you feel this way and would expect nothing less. I am just glad that I got to be a part of the journey from the very beginning. Glad that I got to share in each fearful moment and provide what I hope were words of support and encouragement, and each exciting moment. You are a wonderful mother, and I am so happy you got TWO beautiful baby girls out of it. You truly are blessed and it is wonderful that you recognize that and appreciate it all even more because of it.

    You’re a fantastic person and those babies are just as blessed as you are that they are a part of your family.


  7. annacyclopedia January 14, 2009 at 7:40 am #

    It’s so beautiful that you can really let the joy sink in right now in the midst of being busy and the transitions you’re all going through as a family. I find that so hopeful and healing.

  8. Sue January 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm #

    What I can’t believe is that we were doing this donor stuff together and you left me and had babies! Now I have to feel sorry for myself all alone 😦 I haven’t found many/any hetro couples doing donor IUI like we did on the net, but I must admit, I would have left me too if I had the chance to have 2 healthy beautiful little miracles like you have there 😉 I can’t wait for updated photo’s of the girls and of course you guys as a whole family. xoxoxox

  9. jessica ratliff January 21, 2009 at 9:56 am #

    hey there i am happy to hear that you are able to enjoy every second with them. i guess the saying is true absence really makes the heart grow even fonder! glad to here that they are growing so well they have almost caught up to isaiah he is 10lbs 15 oz. wish he would grow just as well as them but any who. it is so great that they are sleeping so long and glad that you are getting all the smiles that you can. i can see your smiles through your writing i am happy for you!

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