On the Late Show

6 Jul

Where to begin?

First off, I am an IDIOT for ever backing down on seeing a specialist. I guess I thought that after losing the triplet that the whole pregnancy was going to go smoothly from there on out, but it didn’t (obviously). I wish that I had started asking about it again once we started having drama, but I guess I was just too miserable to even think about it – now that my head is starting to clear a bit I feel like a moron. I did a bit of research on the medical center that my OB was planning on sending me to before, and I am *really* interested. How cool does this sound? Blood tests to predict pre-term labor? Um, YES PLEASE!? So I have an appointment with my regular OB on Friday and although I am dreading discussing it with him (he is the best, SWEETEST doctor ever and I am terrified of offending him), I don’t think that I would be doing my best as a parent if I didn’t get this referral.

I also finally bit the bullet today and attempted to go and find some maternity bras (nursing bras actually, cause why buy twice?) that fit. Ha! Turns out that I am about a 38F or a 38 G…go ahead and try to find those sizes in nursing bras in ANY store – I dare you! D E P R E S S I N G. So, I guess I’ll be special ordering those suckers on the internet – the crappy thing about that is that I KNOW most of them are not going to be ones that I like. Argh. I am totally having a reduction once I am done breeding…these bastards on a 5 ft tall woman are just hideous anyway. LOL

I picked up a maternity support belt while I was out as well, but it sort of just feels like I am smashing the babies so I am not sure if I want to wear it or not until after I show it to my doctor on Friday. I bought it because the other doctor that I saw last week suggested it (along with soaking in baths and the swimming pool) because he suspected that a lot of the shooting pains that I have been having might be my pelvic bone separating. Hmmm. Yet another reason why I need to see the specialists, every doctor I see tells me something different!

Lastly, it finally hit me last night that I am pregnant. Yeah. After 5 months. This whole time I have been so caught up in being terrified every moment of everyday that I sort of refused to let it sink in….But last night was in the rest room at a restaurant and I felt one of the babies move while I was trying to pee. I was thinking about how strange it is that I am NEVER alone anymore – there are PEOPLE in there…TWO of them! And it finally hit me – we freakin did it. Holy crap. After 4 years of trying, IUIs, then IVF, etc and we FINALLY did it.

Now, don’t try to convince me that this is going to end in me actually getting to be a mommy; it doesn’t mean that I think we won’t either, but I am just far too paranoid to even stick one toe over that line for 5 more weeks (self preservation I suppose)…but at least we have come this far, and for an infertile that is pretty damn cool.

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11 Responses to “On the Late Show”

  1. Io July 6, 2008 at 4:22 pm #

    Heh. There are two other people there every time you pee! That is weird…
    Go get that reference – don’t feel bad if the doctor is offended. It’s definitely better to offend than back down.

  2. Orodemniades July 6, 2008 at 4:47 pm #

    DUDE – you want nursing bras in larger sizes? I haz them – and they didn’t fit me after the first 3 weeks. Email me.

  3. Cece July 6, 2008 at 4:57 pm #

    I got news bras – and they are HUGE – but it’s nice to have ones that actually fit.

    I can’t wait until I can feel my little one move – tomorrow after the big u/s I bet everything is going to feel even MORE real – I haven’t had an u/s since 11 weeks!

  4. S July 6, 2008 at 6:21 pm #

    Oh no! The bra situation sounds very not fun!!! It’s funny to think about someone else being in the bathroom with you….I’ve never thought about it like that!!!

  5. Alicia July 7, 2008 at 1:36 am #

    Great post! Too cute!
    And don’t fear- I have HUGE teets too! 38 DDD now, can’t imagine what they’ll be like lol.
    Good luck with the referral!

  6. twondra July 7, 2008 at 3:29 am #

    I hope you get the referral! I’d be scared of offending, too….I always worry too much about what people think. Sorry about the bras. 😦 I’d trade you…I have no chest at all. 😦 But I’d rather be little than too big. I hope you find some!

  7. Alison July 7, 2008 at 7:43 am #

    You are too cute! Yes, you are pregnant and your babies will be here very soon! So exciting. I just can’t wait to see these girls!

  8. Michell July 7, 2008 at 7:49 am #

    I would stick to your guns and get that referral. Even if it ended up being just one visit if they could help you feel better about how things are going it’s worth it. Good luck.

  9. noswimmers July 7, 2008 at 8:33 am #

    LOL on the bras, I totally know what you mean. Just wait until your milk comes in…WOAH–those suckers blow up. I’m sure its not as painful when you have babies to nurse on them, though. Which YOU WILL.
    Good luck with the doc–don’t worry about offending him, think about your babies and TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.
    Oh yeah, and have fun peeing with an audience, LOL.

  10. noswimmers July 7, 2008 at 8:36 am #

    BTW…I don’t have your email address. Can you email me at noswimmers at gmail dot com? 🙂

  11. Hopeful July 7, 2008 at 12:11 pm #

    You put my 36C to shame 😦

    I also think you should trust your instincts, or mother tuition 🙂

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