Bad, bad LaLa!

12 May

I’ve been a terrible blogger, I know.

I think all of this baby loss business has gotten to me much more than I realized. Shockingly, I am not that upset about the one one lost (not that I’m happy about it, I AM sad, just not devastated) – mostly I am hysterical that we might lose them all!

I’ve been bleeding and cramping since last Monday, sometimes worse than others, but every time we see the doctor he says that my cervix is closed. So, I guess that’s good news. We also bought a fetal doppler and we listen to the little ones every night before bed. Thank God for that thing, I swear it’s the only thing keeping me sane.

We also had another ultrasound on Monday. They were both moving around in there like CRAZY – it was pretty much the cutest thing I have ever seen. This ultrasound was much better than the ones that the RE had been doing (much better resolution, better tech, much longer session). And, though I know it’s a few weeks too early to tell for sure, when dancing baby rolled over I *swear* I saw a penis. I guess we’ll see. My doctor won’t determine gender until 20 weeks, so I am going to go get one of those fancy pantsy ulrasounds done to determine the gender at 14 weeks. That’s only 3 weeks from now and I am just that impatient.

Also, I don’t think I will be going back to that fertility clinic anytime soon. Possibly ever.

When Dr. A saw that baby B had no heart beat his wildly compassionate comment was “Well, at least that problem took care of itself! Let’s look at your twins!”. Asshat.

That does present a problem, however, considering we have one embryo frozen at their facility and would really like to use it one day. Oh well, that’s an issue for another time. Right now I am disgustingly behind on my homework so I better get a move on.

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14 Responses to “Bad, bad LaLa!”

  1. BlueBella May 12, 2008 at 5:30 pm #

    So glad to hear from you again LaLa and know you and babies are ok. What wonderful news about the ultrasound!
    I’m thinking about you, always and praying for the best. Take care of yourself and keep us posted!!!

  2. Ms. J May 12, 2008 at 5:39 pm #

    I am SO relieved to hear from you. Somebody needs to report that doctor.

    But let’s stay focused on the those active lil puppies in the meantime. How are you feeling? How are the new digs?

    Have missed you!!!

  3. Lauren May 12, 2008 at 5:45 pm #

    UGH, I’m disgusted by that doctor. I was so hoping he wouldn’t say something crass like that when you found out you lost the third baby.
    I’m really glad the other two are dancing wildly!

  4. Michelle May 12, 2008 at 6:23 pm #

    I am SO GLAD to hear that the two babies are doing so well. I think it is so adorable that you went out and bought a monitor so that you could hear their heartbeats every night. I am going to live vicariously through your pregnancy. lol

    I am also glad to hear that you never need to go back to Dr. “Asshat” again. What a freaking jerk. I think he’s in the wrong business, since it is completely obvious he lacks compassion. What a freak.

    Keep us posted on the twins. Time to start buying baby clothes!

  5. sarah23 May 12, 2008 at 6:24 pm #

    Oh my gosh! I am so glad to hear your update. I hope the bleeding hopes really really soon. Your doctor sounds like a real a-hole and I’m glad that you can be rid of him. I’m sure there’s a way that you can get your embryo (someday) without using his services. Alternatively, is there another RE at the same clinic that you can use instead??

  6. sara May 12, 2008 at 7:18 pm #

    I’m so happy that you’re doing okay as well as the babies. You poor thing, your doctor sounds so insensitive! Hope the homework turns out okay. I’m so glad you’re back, I missed ya. I’m sending you hugs and good wishes for a boring rest of your pregnancy. Maybe you’re right, and one of the little ones is a boy!

  7. Alison May 12, 2008 at 7:47 pm #

    I’m so glad to hear that the 2 are wild and crazy in there. I’ve been worried.

  8. annacyclopedia May 12, 2008 at 10:00 pm #

    Asshat, indeed! What a complete idiot! You’d think in his line of work he’d have a better understanding of how much babies can be wanted.

    Glad you’re doing ok and the 2 little ones are too. Hope it continues and it’s nothing but good news from now on. Of course you are upset right now and this whole thing must bring a level of stress and worry to the pregnancy that I can’t even really fathom. I’m hoping that the anxiety calms down to a manageable level and that the doppler and upcoming ultrasounds help put your mind at ease.

    And thanks for your comment on my last post – I sometimes forget how much fun I had – it’s just my life, after all – so it’s nice to hear that somebody thinks it sounded good!

  9. hopeful May 13, 2008 at 1:08 am #

    I am so glad to hear from you Mrs La La, was really getting worried about you that the bubs. What happened to your photo’s or your new digs??? I agre with you about that dick of a doctor,, how rude to say something like that, especially in front of you even if that is how he feels.

  10. ultimatejourney May 13, 2008 at 10:07 am #

    I’ve been thinking of you and hoping everything’s okay. Glad things are going well. And I can’t believe how unprofessional your RE is to say such a thing!

  11. Babychaser May 13, 2008 at 12:10 pm #

    Oh good. I keep checking in, but I didn’t want to hassle you if you were in the midst of a crisis. Your RE was really crass about it, and I know you will always grieve for the little guy that didn’t make it. That being said, I hope you can take some comfort in the reduced risk to your remaining fetuses (feti?), and to you.

    I hope the cramping and bleeding stop soon. But I’d think that if your body was going into full-fledged “flush” mode, it would have done it by now.

    Good luck, honey. With twins on the way, you’ll need it. 🙂

  12. michell May 14, 2008 at 1:40 am #

    glad to hear that you are doing ok. I was starting to get worried when you hadn’t posted in a while. Oh my that RE has horrid bedside manner. If he feels that strongly about you having triplets he never should have returned 3 embryos. As far as what to do in the future, I would say cross that bridge when you get there. Hopefully there is someone else in the practice that could take over your care or something. I hope the cramping and bleeding stop soon.

  13. twondra May 14, 2008 at 3:25 am #

    Thank God you posted! I’ve been really worried about you. Glad everything is okay! 🙂

  14. Ahuva Batya May 14, 2008 at 6:51 am #

    I’m glad the two are healthy and active! I really can’t believe that doctor. What a douche.

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