We ended up in the ER last night…

6 May

Sometime after that last post I started having gushes of blood. The cramping wasn’t too bad, it was mostly only when I was up and moving around – but the blood was scaring me and some of it was bright red.

So, off to the ER we went. 4 hours and 2 tylenol later they told me that my cervix was closed and to go home and “wait and see”.

So, here I sit. On bed rest, again.

When I first woke up this morning I thought I felt a lot better, but after I got up and went to the rest room (no blood) I had a few HUGE cramps after laying back down. Worse than anything I’ve ever had before. That did it, I’m a wreck now.

I took some more tylenol and that seems to be helping – But I am so, SO scared that we are going to lose the other two only because my body might go into “cleanse” mode. I hate sitting here WILLING my body not to do dilate, not to cramp….

I’m a wreck. I don’t think I have ever cried so hard in my whole life.

I almost wish I hadn’t seen dancing baby – at least not until this whole thing blows over. I don’t know what I will do if I lose that one. I wish I could up load pictures, but for some reason since I moved it just makes my computer crash whenever I try. Dancing baby REALLY looks like a baby now, he/she is so beautiful – there are no words.

The other one who is still with us (the one with the higher heart rate) still looks like a gummi bear & is not moving around yet.

I am so scared that they are both measuring so far behind – I guess I’m just scared about EVERYTHING right now. I wish I could hide from my life until this was all over…the not knowing is killing me.

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27 Responses to “We ended up in the ER last night…”

  1. Trace May 6, 2008 at 9:49 am #

    I’m so sorry. I’ll be praying for you.

  2. M May 6, 2008 at 10:25 am #

    I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

  3. Ms. J May 6, 2008 at 11:42 am #

    Prayers, prayers, prayers.

    LaLa, I have a friend who TWICE started out with IVF twins and lost one along the way (both times), and she was SURE she was going to lose the other one, too (both times). She was tiny like you, too. Her symptoms (including the ER trips) sound exactly as you have described. Both of her pregnancies resulted in HEALTHLY baby boys (one is 23 months, the other is 6 weeks old).

    I share this only to show you that you are not alone, and goodness can STILL come forth from this, Sweetie.

    Deep breaths. Try to distract yourself — get the crappy t.v. shows on, eat, read People or US Weekly — minute by minute, hour by hour, okay?!

    XOXO.

  4. Busted May 6, 2008 at 12:33 pm #

    I came here via Lost and Found. I’m so sorry about the loss of your triplet. I’m thinking of you and your other 2 babies and I’ll be hoping that all remains ok.

  5. Hopeful May 6, 2008 at 12:42 pm #

    I’m thinking of you and praying those little tigers keep their hold.

  6. Searching May 6, 2008 at 1:00 pm #

    I’m so sorry for your loss. You will definately be in my prayers.

  7. Ahuva Batya May 6, 2008 at 2:37 pm #

    Hi, I came over from Stirrup Queens. I am so, so very sorry about your loss, and the stress and panic you are going through right now. We lost one of our twins today too, and I feel very connected to the pain and worry you are going through. Please rest, and I will keep you in my prayers.

  8. annacyclopedia May 6, 2008 at 3:01 pm #

    Oh, LaLa. I wish my prayers would just magically come true right now and you would be protected from the pain and worry you’re going through right now. I’m willing those two little babies to stay strong and grow strong and for you to be granted some peace, some respite from the sadness and the unknown. All of us out here are holding your hope for you and you are in the thoughts and hearts of so many.

  9. sara May 6, 2008 at 5:40 pm #

    I am so sorry that you have to go through this difficult time. I’ll be praying for you and a good outcome. Know I’m always here to listen.

  10. Super O May 6, 2008 at 6:05 pm #

    I’m so sorry you have to go through this. A pregnancy should be happy, not filled with worry. Hang in there!!

  11. Michelle May 6, 2008 at 6:30 pm #

    Sweetie, my heart is completely going out to you. You have absolutely been in my thoughts and prayers since all of this began. I pray, pray, pray that everything is just fine with the other two, and I am sure it is. You KNOW you are going to be a mother. Your grandmother even told you that. Just remember her words when she told you one would go and two would stay with you. I am a firm believer that those were not just fleeting words made up in your own mind because you did not even know when you heard them that you were pg with three babies. Find comfort in those words. Everything is going to be fine. All my love and many hugs.

  12. BlueBella May 6, 2008 at 7:02 pm #

    I am so sorry for your loss, hun. Huge hugs & a belly rub for those two babies sticking in there – tons of sticky dust to them!!!!!
    Stay strong and get your rest. Try not to worry (haha that’s like ignoring the pink elephant in the room!) and think positive thoughts about your babies. And Michelle’s comment gave me goosebumps – believe your grandma.

  13. laura May 6, 2008 at 7:50 pm #

    thinking about you and sending you lots of love and sticky vibes.

  14. noswimmers May 6, 2008 at 8:19 pm #

    I am pulling for you, dancing baby, and gummi bear. You must be in agony, having to just lie and wait. If I were anywhere nearby I would run over with some gossip mags and chick flicks! In the meantime, a big virtual hug with have to do.
    Hang in there, we’re all here for you.

  15. futurewise May 7, 2008 at 12:39 am #

    La la, try to meditate and to relax. Try to relax and it will be the best switch for the ‘cleansing mode’. I am praying for you and your babies and sending good vibes to your direction ~~~~~~~~ ((HUGS))

  16. twondra May 7, 2008 at 3:30 am #

    Oh, sweetie, I’m soooooo sorry. I have tears in my eyes as I’m reading this. You poor thing. You deserve so much better. You’re definitely in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

  17. Miss Conception May 7, 2008 at 8:20 am #

    You are so completely on my mind and in my heart. Your terror is warranted and I wish you did not have to endure this. Squishing you in thought.

  18. Jill May 7, 2008 at 9:18 am #

    Came over from Sara’s blog…just want you to know that I’m praying for you and your babies! Will check back in soon! *BIG HUG*

  19. Katie May 7, 2008 at 3:36 pm #

    You and the babies are in my prayers.

  20. Amy May 7, 2008 at 5:32 pm #

    Huge hugs coming your way. I am so sorry you are going through this. Praying for your babies. :::HUGS:::

  21. Kate May 7, 2008 at 5:45 pm #

    I just came by to welcome you to the Braces Bunch. I’ll keep you in my prayers and hope that everyone stays put. Take Care.

  22. sarah23 May 7, 2008 at 5:54 pm #

    I just came across your blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your babies. Sarah

  23. Monkey's Mama May 7, 2008 at 8:51 pm #

    Came over from Sara’s blog…praying for you and your babies, and sending you hugs through the blogosphere. I know this is a very scary time for you.

  24. Nix May 7, 2008 at 11:18 pm #

    Holding thumbs for you and your little ones. I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this, from experience nothing anyone says can help, but just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  25. twondra May 11, 2008 at 4:41 am #

    Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. (((HUGS)))

  26. hopeful May 12, 2008 at 2:18 am #

    Just thinking of you and thought I’d check to see what you are up to and that your doing ok?

  27. sara May 12, 2008 at 4:16 am #

    I’ve been dying to know how you’re doing, and worried about you. Just know I’m here thinking of you and hoping everything is okay.

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