*PISSED*

23 Apr

The friggin RE is OPENLY upset with me for wanting to keep all three babies!! What a fucking bastard. Can I just tell you how effing upset I am right now??

How about, instead of being upset with ME (the woman who suffered through infertility for over THREE YEARS), he actually keep up with current research and not implant more than two embryos in some one under 35 ON HER FIRST FREAKING ROUND OF IVF!!?? How about that??

(trying to calm down)

As the nurse was drawing my blood today (let’s call him Dr. Ass) walks up and, after looking at me for a few moments, says “Is it true what I heard? That you are going to keep all three?”.

Me: “Yep” (big stupid grin on my face)

Dr. A: (shaking his head and pretty much glaring at me) “How tall are you?”

Me: “5 foot”

Dr. A: “That’s like, a recipe for preterm labor!”

On and on and on it went, with him telling me that my “Internet” research didn’t count and that I was not well enough informed, etc.

He was so openly irritated with me during the ultrasound that he forgot to check the heart rates and had to go back and do it. Uggggh.

Can I just come right out and tell you what and ASS HOLE he was today?!

He insisted that I go and make an appointment with some doctor in LA who does the reductions. I actually don’t have a problem doing that – I don’t think they are going to change my mind, but I would like to be well informed. Well…I don’t know what sort of place he is trying to send me to. I tried calling twice this morning (at 10 am), the first time a lady answered who spoke NO English. She put me on hold for over 5 minutes and I finally gave up and hung up. I then had Hubby call back and he got an answering machine. WTF?

I am getting *really* sick of this. I understand why they have to do bloodwork every week, but why do they have to do an ultrasound every week? I LOVE seeing the babies, but this is costing me $230 a WEEK! And I have no idea how much the consult with the person who does reductions is going to be. Then Dr. A said he wanted me back in another 2 weeks. What the hell for!?

I am trying to get my OB to refer me to a high-risk OB so I can blow the fertility clinic off from now on.

OH yeah, and during the exam, the Dr. A also decided that it would be appropriate to announce “Well, maybe you’ll miscarry some of them and the this will take care of itself”.

The babies are doing great though. They didn’t give me any pics today (HMMM, I WONDER WHY?) – but two are measuring right around 8 weeks (one a bit behind and one a bit ahead) with heart rates at 175. The middle baby is a bit further behind with a heart rate of 156.

They actually LOOK like babies now too. You can see little heads and little arms…

Oh, and one of the babeis has a much smaller sack than the other two – which does worry me. However, that one (the one that the Dr. A has marked for death, BTW) is NOT the smallest baby.

I don’t even know if this post is going to make any sense – I am so angry I can’t think straight.

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21 Responses to “*PISSED*”

  1. noswimmers April 23, 2008 at 11:20 am #

    What a jackass RE. I know they worry about complications, etc…but its his place to tell you about the possibilities, and its YOUR decision from there. He can’t be angry with you for choosing to go ahead with the triplets.

    And what an awful thing to say! “Hopefully it takes care of itself”. WOW…how insensitive. Like you haven’t already been through so much.

    For your sake, I hope you get that referral soon and can get the heck outta there!

  2. MargieInAZ April 23, 2008 at 11:31 am #

    I’m so sorry your RE is behaving like that. Like I said on FF, he may have other motivations… Stick to your guns. Triplets is definitely doable, I’m single with scoliosis, and if I can do it you can too. Yes, you will have preterm babies, but mine were born at 30 weeks a little over a year ago and you’d never even know by looking at them that they were ever preemies. They are very healthy, happy and strong, all weighing over 20 lbs now.
    email or call me if you have any questions at all. Don’t listen to your RE any more. I wouldn’t even go back and see him at all. Go see a perinatologist and get this show on the road!
    Congratulations to you on your pregnancy. You’re going to do GREAT!

  3. JJ April 23, 2008 at 11:40 am #

    Im so sorry Lala…I can imagine your emotional roller coaster right now–sending you loads of hugs.

  4. Lauren April 23, 2008 at 11:41 am #

    You’re absolutely right to be outraged at this guy. I want to tell you to RUN from him and never return…but he’s your RE, and I know that’s easier said than done. But you sure can try to get a referral to another doctor. The more I think about it, the more I think there’s NO need for you to stick with this guy while he makes you feel uncomfortable and worse, unsure of the decision you’ve made…going so far as to berate you for your choice. Yes, internet research is less than perfect and there is the consideration of your size (I’m small too, so I understand) but you’re right–he’s the one who put three of them in there in the first place, and all you’re doing now is protecting the life that’s in you.
    Amen, end of story.

  5. Jess April 23, 2008 at 12:03 pm #

    What an ass! I hope you get a referral and never have to deal with him again! Is there someone you can report him to?? I’m thinking of you!

  6. Katie April 23, 2008 at 12:09 pm #

    Oh hun, first of all…I am glad to see all the babies seem to be doing well right now as I know you were worried about it. Second of all….what an ass. I do hope you find a high risk OB soon and dump his sorry butt. Even if something did happen to one of your babies for whatever reason, that comment was not even remotely appropriate. His job is to inform you of the risk and give you medical information….not make you feel like shit for your decision. Grrr…..

  7. Hopeful April 23, 2008 at 12:45 pm #

    I say get the hell out ot there. What a bedside manner that man has. If you have to deal with him much longer he will suck anything good out of this experience. As for not giving you pictures, at least for $230 p/w you think that the least they can give you a dam picture.

    I know he probably has a lot of experience at this and all but a womans body is her temple and its up to her who uses and abuses it. You rock LaLa πŸ™‚

  8. jj April 23, 2008 at 1:05 pm #

    A$$hole. Do what YOU need to do.
    Was there anything you signed that was legal that could come back to haunt?

  9. ultimatejourney April 23, 2008 at 1:11 pm #

    How totally unprofessional! I don’t blame you for leaving. The high-risk OB should be much more supportive. Hugs.

  10. BlueBella April 23, 2008 at 1:33 pm #

    Oh wow, doll. There aren’t words to describe how wretched that sorry ass excuse for a Doc is! Makes me want to get his # and give him a call with a piece of my mind!!!!

    I’m in a fightin mood today so don’t tempt me πŸ™‚

    I wouldn’t even go to that reduction place . . sounds scary and hinky!!!!

    Huge HUGS babe for you and hubby and for all those babies! Don’t think for a minute you’ve made a bad decision. Everyone has their own opinion and you will find a doc who will make you feel comfortable and supported no matter what happens.

  11. Ms. J April 23, 2008 at 1:52 pm #

    LaLa — I am BEGGING you, PLEASE CHANGE DOCTORS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

    Please, please, please! This is YOUR decision, and those are BABIES in there, not cysts, not polyps, etc. BABIES! With heartbeats. And they are YOUR children.

    If nothing else, please change so as to not reward this ass’s sh*tty bedside manner. He should be reported to some sort of state board or SOMETHING.

    Unbelievable. I am shaking right now, I am so upset!

    Please, YOU don’t need this stress on top of what you are already carrying (literally and figuratively).

    If you need help finding another high-risk OB, please email me. My husband has a patient who IS a high-risk OB in our state @ a major medical center. While we do not live where you are, I will have her FIND you somebody.

    Luv ya!

  12. Miss Conception April 23, 2008 at 3:57 pm #

    What a loser. This is YOUR decision and it sounds as though you need to find yourself a doctor who can support you through this time rather than drag you down and belittle you. I’m sorry you had to endure that.

  13. Amy April 23, 2008 at 4:26 pm #

    I’m so sorry that your RE was so unprofessional today. I hope you are able to see an MFM who is more supportive. Huge hugs.

  14. Alison April 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm #

    You totally made sense to me! I cannot believe this happened to you!!!!!!!! Is this even legal??????!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO CHANGE DOCTORS! For a doctor to say to you that hopefully you will miscarry is, i don’t know… something really bad. He’s lucky he’s still a working doctor. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You SO do not need this right now. I hope BIG that you find another doctor that will be more supportive of your already difficult decision. Did he think it was easy for you to make this choice? OMG, I’ll stop going on… you do not need more fuel. Thinking of you!

  15. Michell April 23, 2008 at 9:01 pm #

    I would say yes, work on getting in to a perinatologist soon. Preferrably one with experience with triplets. I’m sure there should be some in your area. I would say that a perinatologist is the best one to give you the info you need. Plus you will need to be seeing one throughout your pregnancy. Docs bedside manner today was horrible and very unprofessional even if he was trying to get a very valid point across in that triplets is very high risk for preterm labor. I’m sorry he treated you this way. I would also be checking in to the insurance thing to figure out what needs to be done to get your meds, ultrasounds etc covered soon.

  16. twondra April 24, 2008 at 2:53 am #

    Awww, sweetie, how horrible. I can’t imagine what you are going through. I agree with the others….switch and soon. πŸ™‚ Find someone who has experience with triplets.

    hang in there hon! We’re all here for you! Vent anytime!

  17. JJ April 24, 2008 at 9:04 am #

    Im sorry to leave this comment here–but Im working on the braces bunch info, and I need an email address to reach you=) Can you email me when you get a chance? reprojeans@gmail.com
    Thanks Lala!
    Hope you are feeling better!

  18. BlueBella April 24, 2008 at 11:57 am #

    My first report on the biodegradable diapers is awesome! They aren’t as “soft” as some other disposables, but my kids don’t seem to mind and our first test was an overnight which went off without a hitch! In fact Sea Monkey even left a large messy present in his for me to find this morning and when I got him up he was already playing about his crib and with all that movement we had NO Leaks! I also bought the biodegradable bags to go with them and they are a little small and fragile, but it’s the thought that counts in my book. At least it’s a nice option between disposables and cloth. I’m definitely giving them a thumbs up! PS I bought Nature Babycare brand if that makes a difference. Their website is http://www.naty.com

  19. Michelle April 27, 2008 at 6:11 pm #

    Okay, that doctor IS an ass hole. You need to get away from him ASAP. The last thing you need right now is him pissing you off and/or scaring you. The only thing you should be focusing on is taking care of yourself and your little babies. Don’t freaking listen to that dude, and don’t let him upset you. Just realize that he is a complete dick and that you will soon be free of his assvice. Keeping all three is your choice, and if he can’t respect that he can go take a flying leap.

  20. Alicia April 28, 2008 at 3:59 pm #

    Im so sorry. He is an asshole. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  21. Molly December 14, 2008 at 1:53 pm #

    Hi there, i found your blog by accident today, I’m not sure if you are still reading the comments. Congrats to your babies !! Too bad I cant see the pictures, they must be precious !! I am reading your past posts and came accross this one so I thought that you may want to know that the doctors do really not like the multiples pregnancies. I know it doesnt go well with the parents, but there are lots of risk and health issues. You may want to check this blog: http://www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com and you will understand why your doctor was suggesting it from his point of view. I wouldnt want to reduce myself neither but I would understand where he’s coming from.
    Again congrats and Happy Holidays!
    Molly in BC

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