Still spotting, still freaking out.

31 Mar

So, what else is new?

I’ve been researching and researching and it pretty much comes down to being 50/50.
50% of people who have spotting like this in early pregnancy go on to miscarry and 50% don’t. All I can’t do is wait and see, which SUCKS to say the least.

I want to believe that its nothing, that its normal for me because I always have a lot of spotting throughout my cycle (I do) – or that its because the progesterone suppositories are irritating my cervix. But the truth is who knows? All I can do it wait the 16 more days until my first ultrasound and hope for the best.

The spotting has gotten a TINY bit worse – it was every other day and now its pretty much constant. Its no darker in color, but there is more of it and now there are occasionally teeeeeny bits of dried blood in it. (I know you all wanted the details, lol, sorry!)

Not that miscarriage would ever, ever, EVER be an easy thing for anyone…but I think that in our situation it would be just oh so much worse because this is our one and only chance at this – and if it doesn’t work out that’s it.

Oh please, oh please let everything be ok!!

I may not be posting as much during the next two weeks because until the ultrasound this is pretty much how its going to be (me obsessing with no end in sight).

On the bright side, however, symptoms continue. I am still nauseous on and off (it gets worse at nigbht, but its pretty much off and on all day) but no vomiting! (yay!) And I’m still having a hard time finding foods that I actually WANT to eat, though that’s improving.

AND my boobs have gotten so sore that I had to start wearing a bra to bed because the act of getting out of bed (when gravity hit them) was really starting to hurt!

I am also getting bigger everyday (due to the OHSS) – there is nooo hiding the fact that I am pregnant. I really need to post a pic.

I guess that’s all for now. I’m going to try and distract myself now.

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12 Responses to “Still spotting, still freaking out.”

  1. Ms. J March 31, 2008 at 10:25 am #

    Would it make you feel better if the RE ordered another Beta to make sure you’re on target?

    I want you to stay off the feet as much as possible, in the meantime. I order you to watch as much mindless television as possible (“Dancing with the Stars” is on tonight, and “The Hills” on MTV at 10 — if you need suggestions). There’s always Lifetime TV, too, LOL.

    There are plenty of people who spotted well through their first trimester and had healthy, full-terms babies. I know that you don’t want that to keep happening, but I am just trying to reassure you in the meantime.

    I agree that the suppositories may very well be part of the problem (though you must continue them). Having symptoms is a good sign — but do not freak out if one day they are less than prior — it could just be your body adjusting to the changes, so they seem less pronounced than in days prior.

    We’re gonna get ya through this, sweetie. TRY to avoid the evils of googling.

    XOXO :o)

  2. Cece March 31, 2008 at 10:43 am #

    Oh sweetie – spotting really sucks – and I know all about it. When I was spotting I had loads of stories of woman who all spotted and were totally fine in the end. So sorry you have to have this to freak out about. Thinking of you!

  3. Babychaser March 31, 2008 at 11:09 am #

    Oh, god, spotting is the WORST. It’s like you want to stop worrying about it, you know you can’t just keep obsessing over it, but it’s just THERE everytime you pee, and you can’t help but keep analyzing it every time: is it darker? is it redder? was that a cramp?

    Try to stay sane. Try to find a way to make time pass. Stick, baby, stick!!!

  4. Amy March 31, 2008 at 11:34 am #

    My nurse told me that 50% of their pregnant IVF patients complain of brown spotting/cramping, and it always freaks them out. She said it is COMPLETELY NORMAL! It is probably due to the hormone fluctuations with taking progesterone and/or estrace. Your little one is okay!!! ::hugs::

  5. BlueBella March 31, 2008 at 11:54 am #

    Just so you know, I’ll happily read about spotting every day of the week if that’s what you want to post! Just knowing you’re doing ok, despite freaking out, makes my day just that much better . . . I know I’m being selfish here, but a fellow pg woman is mine to obsess about as I see fit! LOL

    Anywho, big hugs, and yes, find other things to obsess about, like how to find 3 rhyming names in any combination of boys/girls 🙂 You’re gonna be just fine.

  6. Alison March 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm #

    I’m with BlueBella… I don’t mind reading about all this, I just will worry if I don’t hear anything. Thinking positive thoughts and hoping you stay plenty distracted. {{HUGS}}

  7. Io March 31, 2008 at 1:20 pm #

    I hope everything is ok and you get super fat! (Ya know, pregnant fat, not like dear god she ate an entire village fat.)

  8. Michell March 31, 2008 at 3:07 pm #

    Sorry the spotting is continuing. I hope it goes away soon and that the time till the ultrasound passes quickly. hang in there.

  9. ultimatejourney March 31, 2008 at 3:11 pm #

    I can’t believe they’re making you wait so long for an ultrasound! Have you told them about the spotting? I would think there’s something they could do to try to give you some reassurance.

  10. Michelle March 31, 2008 at 7:06 pm #

    Sweetie, you are not doing yourself any favors by stressing out. Look at the potential positive: perhaps you are spotting because you have more than one egg implanting. How many did you put in there? Not only that, but that little fella is trying to burrow in deep and make itself a happy home. Its trying to attach and get all settled in. I am sure its all normal.

    Please don’t stop posting. I am really looking forward to reading your blog every night. If you don’t post, I’ll just sit here and wonder how you’re doing. Obsess away, but don’t leave your blog friends hanging!

  11. twondra April 1, 2008 at 2:55 am #

    Awww, sweetie, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I do want to say that I will read anything you write about if it helps you feel better. 🙂 Don’t worry about not blogging because you’re obsessing! Hang in there sweetie! We’re all here for you!! (((HUGS)))

  12. Katie April 1, 2008 at 4:31 am #

    I’m sorry the spotting isn’t letting up =/ I check your blog almost everyday for updates so I’m not sure what I am going to do if you stop blogging 😉 However I completely understand the obsessions. GL waiting for your u/s and maybe call the RE for another beta to ease your mind!

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