I Jinxed Myself

28 Mar

The spotting is back. It seems to come and go, but never amounts to more than a watery brown smear -which is good, I guess. But OH how it makes me worry!!! I am thinking about requesting another beta just to ease my mind.

In my heart I feel that everything is fine, that I am going to HAVE this baby and everything will be perfect. But my brain won’t stop worrying.

The funeral went well yesterday. The service was beautiful, but it was really, really hard to sit there and say goodbye to this woman who has been like a second mother to me my whole life.

Also, news of my pregnancy spread like wildfire. I was SHOCKED. Relatives I didn’t even know where coming up to me – offering hugs, congratulations and belly rubs. The scary part? The only two people in the WHOLE family who I told were my mom and my grandmother. I guess they can’t keep their mouths shut – lol – seriously, I didn’t get to tell a single soul myself.

After the service we had a party at my mom’s house where I happily gorged myself on food, and then immediately became ill and had to sneak off home. It wasn’t helping that I suddenly developed a bladder infection (the RE called in an antibiotic for me), or that it was a rough day all around. I ended up falling asleep at 8:30!

Every day the nausea gets a bit worse – I still haven’t puked yet, but it’s coming. I can feel it. I am also having a really hard time finding ANYTHING I am willing to eat. I’m starving, but the thought of most foods disgusts me. I’m trying really hard to eat healthy, but right now I’m happy when I find something I can get down at all.

 Today, for example, has included strawberries, potato chips, and ginger ale.

Oh! And I did get some good news yesterday…I got that promotion I was applying for!! No raise (yet), but a much higher earning POTENTIAL, and a much cooler job.

My delima now – when to tell them that I’m knocked up? Everyone must suspect it (due to the OHSS I look like I’m 6 months along), but I’m not sure how or when to bring it up?


13 Responses to “I Jinxed Myself”

  1. JJ March 28, 2008 at 10:23 am #

    Congrats on the promotion!

  2. (in)fertile Myrtle March 28, 2008 at 10:28 am #

    So excited for you as well!! Yaaaay – fall babies!!! I am still spotting on and off. My dr., like yours, says it can be normal and not to worry, especially since my betas are so good. I just have to take it easy and am on “pelvic rest.” This basically means NO SEX. My poor dh. Oh, and the m/s – yep, same problem as you. I am just giving into my cravings because they are all I can stand – weird too. I’ve been dying for food I normally hate – Chinese Hot & Sour soup. Werid, werid weird! Congrats again!!!

  3. Io March 28, 2008 at 3:19 pm #

    Boo bladder infection.
    Yay promotion!

  4. Ms. J March 28, 2008 at 5:26 pm #

    Don’t tell ’em yet. They don’t need to know. And it’s not impacting your job performance. Since it’s still TBD whether/how much more money you’ll make, I vote for keeping quiet for now.

    I think it’s kinda cute that your family was all “Shh, don’t tell anybody BUT . . . ” about your pregnancy. Sounds like they couldn’t contain their happy excitement!

  5. Amy March 28, 2008 at 5:44 pm #

    Congrats on the promotion! I agree — don’t tell them yet. It’s too early and I think you should keep the upper hand for as long as you can.

    Re: the spotting, I know you already know it’s normal, but I’ll reiterate — it’s NORMAL! 🙂 Your betas look great and I can’t wait for your first U/S. 😀

  6. BlueBella March 28, 2008 at 6:30 pm #

    Yay all around! It’s all coming together for you!!!

    I’m waiting until after my 10 week DA to tell my work just to make sure everything checks out ok. Unless there is some stipulation on notification for work I would wait as long as possible into the 1st trimester before telling them . .. unless you want to share your good news – it’s up to you! Just MHO

    As for the M/S. We’re in the same boat. . .apple juice is the only thing that calms my tummy . .. well that and regular Coke, though I try to keep that to one a day for the caffene. Try keeping soda crackers (if you can stand them) by the bed and munch a few in the night if you need to and in the morning before you get up. Let them settle before getting out of bed so your tummy isn’t empty when you try to go vertical!

    I know this also sounds disgusting, but for me it totally worked wtih the twins .. .baking soda in water . . .drink it and lay down for a few minutes. It does wonders for an upset tummy . ..if you can just ignore the taste.

    Oh hun I’m soooo happy for you!!!

  7. twondra March 29, 2008 at 4:04 am #

    Things are looking so good for you sweetie! I’m so happy for you! Congrats on the promotion!! Glad the service went good.

  8. annacyclopedia March 29, 2008 at 11:43 am #

    Congratulations on the promotion! And totally agree on waiting to tell your work – tell them when it feels right to you.

  9. Katie March 29, 2008 at 1:31 pm #

    OK, a few things here:

    1.) Sorry for the spotting, but I love your attitude and yes, you WILL bring this baby home (just like me!).
    2.) I’m with ya on the food and family thing. News spreads quickly AND I have a hard time finding anything appealing…I love it, LoL.
    3.) As far as your job, tell when you want. Mine still doesn’t know, and I haven’t exactly figured out when I am going to mention it =/

    Lastly, whoever mentioned Hot and Sour soup….that is my FAVORITE!!! =D

    Oh la la, I’m so glad everything seems to be going well for you! =)

  10. Freyja March 29, 2008 at 5:02 pm #

    Tell them as soon as you are comportable with non-family knowing.

  11. Michelle March 29, 2008 at 5:33 pm #

    I am so happy you are pregnant. I even told my husband about it, and he thought it was exciting that someone I “know” who did IVF actually got pg. 🙂 I am so excited to read your blog as you carry this baby. I want to read about all of your symptoms and how you feel emotionally and physically because I think it is just dang cool. Especially after everything you did to get to where you are. You totally deserve this.

    I am sure everything is fine in regards to the spotting too. You totally know you are going to have this baby. I am sure that I would worry about things like that if I were in your shoes too though. I am a habitual worrier, and it drives my sweety nuts. I guess we just need to learn to relax. lol

    Have an awesome weekend!

  12. sara March 29, 2008 at 6:57 pm #

    Tell them at your own pace…I’m thinking of you!

  13. futurewise March 31, 2008 at 3:49 am #

    Congats on your promotion! I am sure you deserve it!
    I wouldn’t tell them yet. Wait for a while, it’s never too late. 😉
    Good luck with the spotting… I keep my fingers crossed for you and your baby…

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