The “Final” Goodbye

3 Mar

My grandmother passed away at 11:45pm on Saturday evening (March 1st). My mother and I were there with her holding her hands and chatting and laughing with the nurse – it seemed to soothe Granie that we were doing that – she used to love to chit chat with the girls. At some point we noticed that she was pausing between breaths and we stopped and watched for a moment.

It wasn’t very long after that that she just simply didn’t take the next breath – she just slipped away. It was very peaceful and calm (I had even lit some candles in the room for her a few hours before because she had commented a few weeks before that they soothed her). I’m really glad I was able to be there for her like that.

Now, of course, I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I’ll be alright though, I think I just need to be sad for awhile.

I’ve been trying to help with funeral arrangements, but I don’t think we are going to have any services until next week or so.

Meanwhile (back in IVF land) I have my first follicle check tomorrow. I’m nervous about it because I have been having burning pains on my left side for a few days now but nothing on the right. =/

The shots are still going ok. I can’t even feel the FolliStim pen, but the only way I can do the Mepour shots is to put them in myself and then have someone else push the plunger. I know they would prolly hurt less if I would just let someone do it fast for me, but I just can’t do it. ::shudder::

I might not be blogging as much or commenting as much the next week or so – but I’ll be around.


16 Responses to “The “Final” Goodbye”

  1. Io March 3, 2008 at 1:20 pm #

    Lala, I am so sorry for you loss. I’m glad you were able to be there with your grandmother at the end.

  2. JJ March 3, 2008 at 1:43 pm #

    I am so sorry for your loss, Lala. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  3. Michelle March 3, 2008 at 2:20 pm #

    I’m so sorry to hear your granny passed away. I am sure you will miss her terribly. My heart goes out to you. I lost my own grannie in November. I was lucky enough to be given a plant from her funeral and it reminds me of her every day.

    As for your ovarian pain, it sounds pretty normal to me. I usually hurt more on one side than the other. It just means one side is being stimulated more than the other. I remember one time we had to abort a cycle because I had 24 folicles and that was just from clomid and FSH shots! Good luck with your ultrasound.


  4. Michell March 3, 2008 at 2:28 pm #

    I’m sorry about your granny. Hugs to you.

  5. Amy March 3, 2008 at 4:45 pm #

    I am so very sorry that your Granie passed away. Even if it is expected it is never easy. I am sure she knew that she was surrounded by family and love when she did pass – I know you’ll never regret being there for her like that.

    Re: IVF, I do the exact same thing with the Menopur – the first time I gave it to myself but injected it so slowly b/c of the pain, and I didn’t do that again. The second time I stuck the needle in my belly and had DH push the plunger. Now, I give myself the other shots first and then lay on the couch and let DH give me the Menopur. He does it so fast that it is much less painful. I’m glad the Follistim isn’t giving you any trouble.

    Good luck tomorrow at your first follie check – don’t worry about the pains you feel in your ovaries, because I’ve found that they’re not always reliable. 🙂

  6. Ms. J March 3, 2008 at 6:55 pm #

    I’m am so sorry. Will keep your entire family in my thoughts.

  7. futurewise March 4, 2008 at 1:52 am #

    I am so sorry, sweetie… I know exactly what you are going through. As long she is in your hearts and memories- she’ll live. ((hugs))
    I am glad that you got used to shots- at least one thing less to bother you right now.

  8. twondra March 4, 2008 at 3:57 am #

    I’m soooo sorry sweetie. I’m glad you were there for her in her last moments. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Good luck with the follicle check.

  9. Annarchy March 4, 2008 at 8:00 am #

    Hugs to you LaLa and the family. I am here for you.

    Re:IVF if it were up to me I would give you the shot! You wouldn’t have a chance to run 🙂 I would tie you down if I had too. But that is me. I generally don’t have the patience to fight someone when it comes to shots!! But I still love you…

  10. Katie March 4, 2008 at 12:19 pm #

    I am so sorry about your grandmother. I was with mine as well when she passed away 2 years ago….it is peaceful, but still so very sad. ~hugs~

  11. Journeywoman March 4, 2008 at 1:19 pm #

    I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Take care.

  12. ultimatejourney March 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm #

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    I hope the follie check went well.

  13. Vanessa March 4, 2008 at 5:06 pm #

    Oh hone, Im so sorry to hear that your Granie is gone. Im so glad that you got to be with her at the end. No regrets that way 🙂 Please know that I’m thinking and praying for you.


  14. S March 4, 2008 at 5:14 pm #

    I’m so sorry for loss but so glad that you and your Mom were able to be there with her. I think that is comforting for the person leaving this world and the people that love them. Hugs to you!! On a different not, good luck with you check!! I want the password….I guess you can get my email from this post?

  15. Cibele March 4, 2008 at 6:20 pm #

    I am so sorry about your grandmother, I recently lost my grandfather and I know how you feel!!!

  16. Hopeful March 6, 2008 at 2:14 am #

    I’m sorry to hear that your gran has passed although the picture you painted was beautiful and am sure that it helped her pass knowing that you girls would be ok. I’m thinking of you and your family. XoXoX

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