Insanity in 4, 3, 2, 1…..

28 Dec

Before I delve into all of the miserable glory of my appointment today, let me paint the scene for you:

Mrs. La La arrives at the reception area of her friendly neighborhood OBGYN only to find herself waiting in line behind a lovely young teenage couple (couldn’t be a day over 15, I. KID. YOU. NOT.) who are very obviously expecting, and very obviously excited about it (they were happily perusing ads for 3D ultrasounds).

Mrs. La La carefully chose a seat facing away from the happy couple. Not long after, however, another very pregnant woman comes and sits behind me. All is quiet for several minutes until another woman comes and sits next to her.

“Ohhhh, when are you due?”
“In about a month” (I can actually HEAR her smile)
“Ah, you are in the final stretch now. Are you excited?”
“OH YEAH! I can’t wait to be done!”
“Is this your first?”
“No. It’s my third! And my last…I’m getting my tubes tied! Nooo more surprises for me!”
Etc, etc, etc.


So I try to distract myself by watching the Montel Williams show they have playing on TV. Its about women who have had their children taken away by CPS. So I try people watching. Every last chair was occupied by either a pregnant woman, someone sitting next to a pregnant woman and rubbing her belly/back/hands OR a adorable small child sitting with his/her very pregnant mommy. Do I even need to tell you that by the time I got called back (one HOUR and fifteen minutes later, I might add) I was in tears?

By the time the poor doc finally walked in I was ready to put him in a choke hold and demand that he get me knocked up – right then and there – or else. Instead I politely blinked back tears, handed him my charts and explained (AGAIN) about the abnormal bleeding, the intense period pain, the heavy periods AND the glaringly obvious lack of baby.

Long story short: He took one look at my charts and announced that I am not ovulating, that there is definitely something wrong with me (um, HELLLLLOOOO!?!? How long have I been saying that now!?), and he is scheduling a laparoscopy post haste. ::gulp::

Oh yeah, and he also said that this is beginning to exit the range of his expertise and that he is sending me packing to a local fertility clinic as soon as he is done slicing and dicing. Oh, and that there is no point in continuing DI at this point until they figure out what is going on with me.

I promptly booked it to my car and called my husband, my mommy and my best friend (in that order) and sobbed like a two year old. Then my (very wonderful) husband took me out for dinner (read: martinis) and a movie. I feel a bit better now.

On the bright side: Doc says that he will perform the HSG while doing the laparoscopy and he will get my insurance to pay for it because of the pain I have been having.

I just keep having this horrible recurring day-mare (did I just invent a word? lol) that I wake up from the surgery and they tell me “We are so sorry Mrs. La La, when we opened you up we found [insert horrific diagnosis here] and had to perform a complete hysterectomy on the spot. Welcome to menopause.”


15 Responses to “Insanity in 4, 3, 2, 1…..”

  1. twondra December 28, 2007 at 12:19 pm #

    Awww, sweetie, I’m sooo sorry. You had a horrible day. At least it’s a little encouraging that they’ll be doing something or trying to figure out what’s going on, right? I’m trying to look on the bright side, but I know there isn’t much of that.

    We’re all here for you. Vent anytime. ((((HUGS))))

  2. ultimatejourney December 28, 2007 at 3:04 pm #

    I’m so sorry you had such a bad experience. Your day reminds me SO much of the day I sat for over an hour in a waiting room full of pg women to find out my husband has no sperm.

    I hope the lap and HSG go well (and are paid for by insurance). I personally found the fertility clinic to be much better than the OBGYN, both in terms of their fertility knowledge and the lack of pg women in the waiting room. I hope you find it to be a similar improvement over the regular doc.

  3. orodemniades December 28, 2007 at 3:44 pm #

    Gah, that’s horrible.

    As for diagnosis, I’m guessing endometriosis and maybe PCOS. Neither diagnosis is a death sentence for having kids!!! I don’t know if you read Akeeyu’s blog,, but if you go to her blog and check out the EndoTeer Song index in her menu bar, she has lots of info. I highly recommend starting at the bottom of the page.

    She’s now pregnant with twins, and to be honest, I can’t think of any current blogger who’s had it as bad as she does.

    You’ll be under for the lap, right? Make sure you get painkillers for before and afterwards as I suspect your HSG is going to be painful afterwards. My first one was, the second one wasn’t at all.

  4. orodemniades December 28, 2007 at 3:46 pm #

    Oo, Akeeyu wrote this (and although you don’t know if you have endo or not, her advice is still good) about getting her lap:

  5. orodemniades December 28, 2007 at 3:47 pm #

    Sorry, the end of that url is:


  6. Michell December 28, 2007 at 6:58 pm #

    While to have validation of your worries has to be a good feeling, the other side of being scared seriously sucks. Glad that they are going to do the lap to see whats up and get it covered by insurance. The fertility clinic will be a good thing. And like you everytime I go to a new doctor etc I have the worries that they will find something that will prevent me from ever having children. Then it’s such a relief when they say it’s all ok. Hang in there.

  7. Vanessa December 28, 2007 at 6:59 pm #

    I think we all know how it feels to be in a room full of pregnant women, and desperately wanting to be one of them. It sucks ASS! But on the bright side at least your doc is now participating in finding out whats going on. I hope all goes well and you get some answers, THEN we can get you knocked up ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. futurewise December 28, 2007 at 7:20 pm #

    The day we found out about azoo- hubby’s sister anounced her second pregnancy…
    So I know exactly how it feels…
    As for laparascopy- don’t worry it won’t be as black as you imagine. + you will know your diagnosis.

  9. noswimmers December 29, 2007 at 2:54 am #

    I am SO SORRY you had such a crappy day. An hour and a half wait is bad enough…throw in a few pg ladies and a couple adorable toddlers and thats enough to throw any somewhat-sane IFer over the edge.

    As horrible as the news was to hear, at least you know that now you’ll be in good hands. It takes a lot for a Dr. to admit s/he doesn’t have the expertise to pursue further treatments–just be thankful s/he didn’t waste any more precious time.

    I had a HSG a few years ago, and while it hurt like hell (I won’t lie), it didn’t last long and I was ice skating shortly thereafter.

    Big hugs and all my thoughts are with you.

  10. Von December 29, 2007 at 8:01 am #

    Nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by to say HI. Think of the Lap and HSG as a step forward in the right direction. Plus moving to a fertility clinic means no more waiting rooms of pregnant women.

  11. Trace December 29, 2007 at 3:17 pm #

    I’m so sorry! B*tch and moan anytime. That’s what a blog is for ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Shop Girl December 29, 2007 at 6:59 pm #

    Hi, thanks for stopping by my blog. I’ll have to catch up on your story, but please feel free to keep up with mine. It is exactly because of people like you that I have not gone password-protected. I really needed hope when I found out about hubby’s azoospermia, so I’m so glad that you’ve gained a little from my experiences. Feel free to email me with any questions as well.

  13. RainbowMomma December 29, 2007 at 7:14 pm #

    Gosh, what a sucky day! I read it on the NW board and I felt so bad for you. But gees…top it off with the waiting room visit and you day must have been over the top!

    I hope everything goes well with the lap/hsg and that everything is covered by insurance and that it was exactly what you needed to get that eggie fertilized by those frozen popsicles.

    We’ll be thinking about you.

  14. ChelleBez December 30, 2007 at 11:09 pm #

    Wow. This all sounds REALLY familiar. Right down to sitting in the drs office with the pregnant, teenage twits and bawling once you finally make it to an exam room. I completely know what you are going through.

    I just had my own laparoscopy the day before Halloween. It ended up in a moderate endometrial resection and ovarian drilling. We’re hoping that will solve our problems, but we’ll see. My sweetie and I embarked on this journey over a year ago now, and it is a rough one.

    I wish you all the best of luck in your own less than fun adventure. Will check back often to see how it all goes and offer friendly, completely sympathetic help.

  15. Hopeful December 31, 2007 at 11:13 am #

    Oh honey, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world, at least after the Lap you will know what you are dealing with.

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