Stanta Needs a Hearing Aide.

26 Dec

Cause getting AF first thing when I woke up on Christmas morning was NOT my idea of a happy holiday!

Not only did I get my period as my very first gift of the day…but it is also FIVE days early, making my LP a whopping 10 days this month. So we can just go right ahead and add “likely progesterone deficiency” to the list of gifts I have received this year. Oh goodie. (Can you hear the angry snarl from where you are?)

I don’t think I have ever even HAD a cycle this short before in my life! It was only 26 days and my usual for the past year has been 32 – although the last two were 28 and 30…

Anyhow I can’t help but feel like the irony of getting my period 5 days early on CHRISTMAST MORNING is the world’s way of saying “give it up Mrs. La La…you are are not meant to carry your own children”. And ya know what? Maybe that’s ok. There is a certain sort of romance to the notion that both Hubby and I are unable to have children. Don’t get me wrong – it would totally suck and I would hate it….but I know that on some level it would make Hubby feel a bit better about things and I can’t say I blame him one bit.

Hubby and I have been talking a lot about adoption lately. While I dread the idea of having our hearts ripped out every time a child we have been caring for and fallen in love with goes back to his or her biological family – I hate the idea of never having a child to love and spoil even more. And eventually we will get to keep one. 😉 Also, I LOVE the idea that if I can’t have a child of my own – that at least I can give a nice, stable life to a child who would not otherwise have had that opportunity.

I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. I’m thinking that I am going to try at least twice more. I am have a Dr appointment on Thursday and I am going to demand that the Doc put me on clomid & progesterone. I also plan on asking about the dye test. This doc has been less than enthusiastic about helping me in the past – but I’m hoping that that was only because we already knew that we were dealing with male factor and that he will be a lot more “on the ball” this week. I’m not too confidant that I will ever actually be able to conceive though. While I’m still really hoping that the only reason I am not pregnant yet is simply bad AI timing on my part, I have a sinking feeling that its much more than that. If it is I will likely not be able to do much about it due to the lack of infertility coverage.

Today was really frustrating – but overall pretty good. I got to see my family all together, which is always nice (shocker, I know, lol). I hope you guys had a wonderful holiday!!

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4 Responses to “Stanta Needs a Hearing Aide.”

  1. futurewise December 26, 2007 at 9:21 am #

    Happy holidays, La la!
    Don’t give up on your biological child…

  2. twondra December 26, 2007 at 12:05 pm #

    Awww, sweetie, I’m sorry. Hang in there and don’t give up! We’re going on #9 and I can totally understand the feelings of thinking there’s something wrong with me and just “knowing” it’s not meant to be. However, “normal” couples doing it the natural way only have a 25% chance each month and it’s completely normal for a couple to try for 6 months or up to a year. And with the frozen we’re dealing with, the chances are much slimmer. So, that in mind, it can take awhile….but it’s so hard to accept that. Hang in there hon! We’re all here for you!

  3. Michell December 26, 2007 at 2:23 pm #

    Sorry about the sucky early christmas present. Out of curiosity have you had CD 3 labs (LH, FSH, Prolactin, and Estradiol) and 7DPO lab progesterone levels done. You should have these done if you haven’t already just to get an idea of where you are. My doc at home wanted to just do IUI with LH surge until I had labs done and we realized my ovulations was borderline. Good luck and hang in there.

  4. orodemniades December 26, 2007 at 6:25 pm #

    Um, you haven’t had an HSG?

    I hate to say it, but your doctor sounds like he got his degree off a cereal box. And if your husband has severe male factor and you’re not doing IUI with injectibles, I guess I don’t understand why you’re not doing IVF?

    I’m sorry if you’ve mentioned why before and I don’t remember, my brain is on a chocolate induced hiatus at the moment.

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