The Waiting Game

13 Oct

I was reading a fellow blogger’s post today (see “Reproductive Jeans” on my links, too lazy to do HTML right now, lol) and it got me to thinking about Hubbie’s cousin. Hubbie’s cousin – one of the most intelligent & fascinating people I have ever met by the way – married a friend of mine (we’ll, a friend of my sister in law’s, mine by proxy) back in July.

They had been dating only a few months when they decided that they wanted to get married ASAP because they wanted to have babies. So, after 11 months of dating they were married 3 months ago in a BEAUTIFUL beach ceremony and then honeymooned in Tahiti. They stopped all – ahem – romantic relations, lets say, about 6 months before the wedding and then PLANNED their wedding/honeymoon for when she was ovulating. Yep, they did it…and now I feel like an ASS because I am so sick with envy I am shocked I have not actually turned green yet.

Why? What did they do so right that Hubby and I did so wrong? We are not bad people, why do I feel like I have been cosmically screwed here? Don’t get me wrong. I am happy for them, I am really, REALLY happy for them…they got everything they wanted and then some and that is exactly what they deserved to get because they are totally awesome people. But, I am really, really sad for Hubbie and me. Why do we not deserve the same happiness?

Pregnant on the VERY first try, they found out they were pregnant a week before her period was even due, AND they already know they are having a boy.

That’s ok though, as sad as it makes me right now, I KNOW that we will have a child one way or another. As long as we continue to want it badly enough and don’t give up trying. It may be through a donor or it may be through adoption but either way we are going to appreciate it SO much more because we had to work so hard and wait so long to get it. That doesn’t mean that the waiting doesn’t suck right now though though…lol

Speaking of waiting BB still hasn’t given Hubby a straight answer, although Hubby asked him yesterday if he had had a chance to read through the material that we had given him yet. He said that he had read some of the book, but that was ALL that he said. I am trying to not be negative, that is just sort of how BB is…crypitc….So we are trying to give him his space and see what happens. Hubby is very confidant that he will do it, apparently he said he would when they first talked. We’ll see.

On the other hand the known donor who we found originally (the guy who lives out of state) emailed me the other day to say that he was still interested and the he would be planning an trip out this way within the next month or two if we wanted to meet up. I met him on a “Known Donor” group online and Hubby and I both really, really like him….but we still have a lot of concerns over using a known donor in this way. Who ever would have thought trying to have a baby would be so freaking confusing!? Seems like the only way people get pregnant anymore is when they are NOT trying. Ha. Nice one God.


3 Responses to “The Waiting Game”

  1. Trace October 13, 2007 at 12:07 pm #

    It just out and out SUCKS. I’m sorry. I always feel like such a selfish b*tch for having a hard time being happy for others, ya know? Boy, it makes me feel like a schmuck just typing it.

  2. futurewise October 13, 2007 at 7:05 pm #

    I know the feeling… Don’t feel bad, you are only human. And it’s not like you are wishing them bad, you just wish you had the similar fate. Suffering make us more understanding, human and more down-to-Earth kind of people.

  3. noswimmers October 14, 2007 at 12:19 am #

    Like you said, you are going to appreciate your children *SO* much more. That’s the hope that I have to cling to each month.
    Best of luck to you!

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